I have seen a trend in the last few years that I find amusing. Weddings that don’t allow children to attend. They actually put it on the invitation. My question is this: Is this brilliant or rude? I mean, on one hand, it is YOUR wedding, and you don’t want it interrupted with a couple of screaming kids at the moment you say, “I do.” That would be rather disastrous. But of course so would “Beethoven’s 5th” ringing on someone’s cell phone. (I wish we could ask people to leave those things at home on the invitations.) But on the flip side of this, is it really fair to ask someone to hire a baby sitter and fork over like $50 bucks to avoid kids running around. You might have friends and family stay home because they simply can’t afford to shell out that kind of money right now. Tell us; are you banning children, and if so, why? If you are letting children come, do you have any special plans for them?
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11.30.2009
Only the flower girl and ring bearer. That’s enough:)
We did not want kids at our wedding and we were explicit about that. We didn’t think it was rude; it was our day and we wanted things a certain way. A family member of mine brought her child anyway and he started crying during my vows. It almost ruined the perfection of that moment and I’ll never forget how she overlooked our wishes and brought her child just because she wanted him to be there. Kids do no belong everywhere no matter how acceptable parents think their attendance is and not everyone enjoys kids’ presence no matter how normal it may seem to their parents. It’s rude to assume your child is invited just because you are and I did not mind letting my family member know that afterward. There was no issue of paying for a babysitter or lack of babysitter availability and if there was I would have been OK if she stayed home. It’s not my responsibility to organize a kid-friendly event especially when I don’t want to just because someone else has a child.
I think it should be implied unless the invitation spicifically says, “children welcome.” That said, people will inevitably bring them, if it is not spicifically stated, “no children please.” Most people will have a family member or friend who is not attending the wedding who can watch their children for a couple of hours. Personally, I wouldn’t mind children at my wedding if they were well behaved, but I know some are not and will find a way to knock over my wedding cake, break a vase that belongs to the venue, ect.
We LOVE kids and they are a huge part of our big day. We are having a whole area of the reception dedicated to the kids, including a kids buffet, candy bar, and coloring table. We are also providing a baby sitter and kids room for the parents to drop their kids off at after a certain time. Our ceremony will go late into the night and we know most of these kids will not last past 9pm so big pallets of the floor and a movie will be provided for the late part of the evening.
From a Photographers point of view…. I did a wedding where the brides son (in the terrible 2’s) spent the entire wedding laying on the floor kicking and screaming every time he was needed for a photo….. However some of the most precious photos have been the bride or groom with children… Its always a chance you take….
Dennis
We are not allowing children at our event. I am still unsure of the wording that is polite for the invitations. We feel like our event is going to be one big celebration and that it would be a nice time for the parents to have a “date night”. Most of the children that would come to the wedding, if invited, have very close relatives that would love to have the children for the evening. Also, since alcohol will be provided, we feel like it would be inappropriate for the child to have to sit in a cab without a car seat just because the parents had too much to drink.