Take a deep breath and think about what is important to you. Not your best friend and not your mom, but YOU. And maybe your groom-to-be. I guess he should have a say, too.

Think about what things will matter the most at your wedding and reception, and those are maybe the things you don’t want to skimp on.

Is having good photos important to you? (And for most, they are.) Then this may not be an area you need to be cheap on. Find the best photographer to fit your budget and style, but don’t hire your friend’s sister because she has a camera. You don’t have to order every print they take, but you will want some good quality pictures that will last a lifetime.

What about the event location? Maybe you have always dreamed of being married in a certain location. OK – don’t let a few dollars stop you; you’ll just need to look at other areas to cut costs to get the right location.

Think about the look of the event – fresh flowers always make a huge impact, but you can always talk to your florist about using your dollars wisely. I have seen many florists bring in items from the bride and groom that will help in rental fees — like glass vases, bottles or even old heirlooms. This can fill up the space with flowers and create a unique look that is also more economical.

Another area I think doesn’t need to be overlooked is the food. Let’s face it — your uncle doesn’t care about what shade of pink is on the linens even if you do, but he will care what kind of food is there. Guests walk away saying, “what a beautiful wedding … and the food was great!” or not. You don’t have to serve a plated dinner or even a full buffet. You can work with your caterer to provide the right amount of good food for the right price. Don’t bring in a fruit tray and call it a day. This will leave the wrong lasting impression of your wedding.

And last, but not least, don’t skimp on your wedding dress. I am not saying this has to be the most expensive one you can find, but by all means, be happy with your selection. You will be the center of attention. There is no doubt about this, so choose a dress that fits your style (and of course your budget). You don’t have to wear your cousin Mary’s hand-me-down just to save a few bucks. Have a budget in mind and shop around. Stores can offer you great selections if you give them a price range and style and this will take a little stress off you.

Regardless of all this advice, don’t go broke having your wedding. It is a very special day and you want it to be perfect, but you don’t want to be paying for it for the next 15 years. Think ahead, plan a budget and don’t get too caught up in the moment to remember the true meaning of the day.

My friend was a bridesmaid last week.  A few weeks before the wedding, I was at her house eating lunch.  There on the kitchen table was shoe box, and she happened to catch me glancing at it.  She said “Go ahead and take a look.  Those are the bridesmaid shoes.”  Much to my surprise, there was a pair of somewhere-near 4″ heels inside.  I said, “WHAT!?”  Not being a high-heel person at all, I couldn’t believe someone would make their friends wear such a thing.  All I could think about was the pain and blisters.  I even went as far to worry about my friend the night of the wedding.

When the pics were posted on facebook the next day, I couldn’t wait to see the dress, the shoes and how great my friend looked.  A few photos into the album, I finally saw a full-length photo of my friend.  And what did I see?  Cowboy boots!  And guess what?  They looked amazing with that red dress she had on!  Yes, she did have to wear those (in my opinion) awful shoes, but what a gift not to have to wear them the whole night.  A few more photos into the album, there were the other bridesmaids on the table dancing with bare-feet and even Uggs.  It was such a great photo!

With great photos come great memories.  With great memories come great friends.  Yes, it is definitely your wedding and, for the most part, you can do whatever you want.  However, if you want to keep the friends you have in your wedding, just be flexible and let them enjoy the day as much as you’re going to.  Let them shed those silly shoes as soon as you say “I do.” Or, think about making your bridesmaids love you even more by letting them pair something fun (and comfy) with that awesome dress you’ve picked out for them during the actual ceremony.  Maybe even a pair of cowboy boots….

P.S. – I’m working on getting the pic of my friend in her boots.  Stay tuned.